4 Simple Ways To Stop Worrying About Everything
Before we say something, we worry.
Plan what we will say and think about how the other person will respond. And we practice all the things that could happen.
While we are saying something, we worry. putting more thought into how we come across it than what is being said. We try to figure out what the other person thinks about us.
And after a meeting, we worry. We keep going over what we said in our heads. What we could have said instead would have been better. Sometimes it feels like we lost consciousness. We can’t remember anything, so we start making up awkward or even bad things we might have said.
Worried about what you say or giving it too much thought?
Here are some things to keep in mind:
Worry is about the future. When we worry, we live in the future we have made up.
Worrying is helpful when it helps you figure out how to fix a problem. Steps you can take.
When worry goes in a circle, it becomes overthinking, ruminating, and anxious. This doesn’t help.
Anxiety is basically a dislike of not knowing what will happen. It wants us to be sure of everything, which is impossible.
Perfectionism is often shown by worrying too much and thinking too much. We have unreasonable, high hopes for ourselves.
1- Not everything you think is true.
The most important stress-reduction technique I’ve ever learned is probably not to believe anything I think.
It’s especially crucial not to accept ideas that support the worst-case scenario during uncertain times.
Worst-case scenarios might be useful for us to evaluate risks and take proactive measures to avoid calamity.
However, when we have these worrying ideas, we often act emotionally as if the worst-case scenario is happening right now, rather than only in our heads.
We feel sorrow for things we haven’t lost, and we act out in response to things that aren’t happening.
When we are merely alone with our thoughts, this makes us feel intimidated, afraid, and unsafe.
Our tendency to see the bad in things can also set us up to fail.
Expectations can end up making them come true.
When we think the worst will happen, we often feel too afraid or closed-minded to take advantage of opportunities or deal with problems in a creative and determined way.
We don’t have to believe every stressful thought. Instead, we can actively think about the best-case scenario.
We can find good things to do instead of thinking about bad things. This goes against the natural tendency we all have to overestimate risks and bad outcomes.
2- Find the order in the mess.
In terms of our lives, social psychologists define meaning as “an intellectual and emotional assessment of how much we feel our lives have purpose, value, and impact.”
People are most driven by how important they are to other people.
When we know that someone else will benefit from our work, we’ll work harder, longer, and better, and we’ll feel better about what we’re doing.
For example, teens who help people in crisis in real ways, emotionally, or by giving them information tend to feel more connected to their community.
Researchers have found that we feel better when we stop thinking so much about ourselves and help others.
If we see something that needs to be fixed, the next step is to figure out what we can do to help fix it.
What talents, skills, or interests can we bring to the problem? What’s most important to us, and how can we help?
Hope comes from having a sense of meaning and purpose.
When the world seems scary or uncertain, nothing can help us feel more stable than knowing what we mean to other people and having a sense of purpose.
Don’t just sit around and wait for this to be over.
Don’t just accept that you’re going to be miserable while we wait for a vaccine.
What is something you’ve always wanted to do? What do you hope will happen? How can you really live this way? Live like that.
3- Get ready for different things.
At least for me, the hardest part of the uncertainty is not being able to plan and feel in charge.
I can’t plan where I want to live, where I’ll do yoga, or what events I’ll go to to meet people until I know where I’ll be living. But I can plan for what might happen.
I can make a list of the things I would do if I moved to LA and the things I would do if I stayed where I am.
The second doesn’t need much change, so all I really need is one plan and the ability to change it if I need to.
4- Being aware and on purpose is a way to practice mindfulness.
When you’re feeling upset, pay attention to how you’re breathing.
When people are nervous, they often take too many breaths.
Consider putting more attention to the length of the exhale. For example, you could breathe in for four counts and breathe out for six counts.
Find ways to bring yourself back to the now.
Do a 5-sense check and pay attention to what you can feel, hear, see, smell, and taste.
Use calming, affirming thoughts like “Right now, I’m fine” and “I can handle this” to remind yourself that you can handle the stress. Find out more about how to lead with awareness.
